I'm 43 and I have no friends.
That's how Szymon started his post. It blew up over the weekend and gathered over 4.5M views and an incredible discussion about friendship, belonging, adult loneliness and love.
There has been such strong resonance with so many people, it got me thinking - is this a global issue? Is this the disease of our ultra-connected existence?
It also reminds me on the Harvard Study on Longevity - the greatest indicator for a long and healthy life is attributed to the depth of our relationships.
It may not come as easily after college or in later adulthood, but that doesn't mean it's not possible. It can be nurtured and cultivated. It'll take time, energy, probably money and effort. In my option - It's important enough!
I personally don’t have a ton of friends. I have a few, really close ones. When I am spending time with them, it feels effortless, non-judgmental and honest. Those are the people I can share my deepest pains and fears with and they won’t judge me for it. They do the same. There is a level of depth in our relationship that allows for deep trust. Oh we also fight at times, or don’t see eye-to-eye on every topic. We give each other crap for arriving late, we throw out some brutal banter, but it’s all happening with love in the heart. I treasure those people and those relationships a lot.
It’s important to note that none of those relationships happen over social media (for me) They all exist in direct 1:1 or 1:Few - exchanges. Social media is not bad in itself but it’s not nearly enough to actually build and maintain real friendships.
Here’s my call to action: Take 10 minutes every day this week to nurture/ rekindle/ ignite a friendship.
Need a thought starter? Here are 5:
1. Prioritize Quality Time: Invest in regular one-on-one time with a friend, whether through a shared activity or just deep conversation. Scheduling intentional moments together builds trust and strengthens bonds.
2. Show Genuine Interest: Ask thoughtful, open-ended questions about their lives, passions, and challenges. Listening actively and engaging meaningfully in their experiences fosters a sense of closeness and understanding.
3. Reconnect with Vulnerability: Rekindle old friendships by sharing something personal, whether it’s a memory, a struggle, or an accomplishment. Authentic vulnerability allows both sides to reconnect at a deeper level.
4. Create Shared Experiences: Plan something that can create new memories, whether it’s a trip, a dinner, or even a creative project. Shared experiences help reignite old friendships and nurture new ones.
5. Consistent Small Gestures: Sometimes it’s the little things, a quick text, a thoughtful note, or even just checking in on them. These small, consistent gestures show care and effort, helping to nurture and sustain relationships over time.
<3 Ben