Letting Go / Letting Grow
It was Tuesday morning this week, all 4 of us were on the way to school to drop off our little man. Charley is at the end of 5th grade and traditionally that’s when the whole grade goes on a big trip. It’s not super far away, 2 hours by bus. However they will stay there for multiple days/nights and the big rule is: no mobile phones! 😱
What if I want to check in on him? What if he gets homesick? What if he gets injured? How will I know he’s OK!?
We were not the only parents feeling a little uneasy. The scene was actually quite funny, the parents were lined up along the sidewalk between the school and the big white double-decker bus, creating this alleyway of smartphones, cheers and high5s. One lady was banging the tinted window of the bus, wildly gesticulating and then proclaiming really loudly “Get the bottom bunk!! The bottom bunk!! It’s easier to get the bedding on!”
I am sure she was just worried that her litte one might fall and get hurt when taking the, much more interesting, top bunk!
The grand finale that morning was just before the bus doors closed, the principal poked her head out of the bus, took a sweeping look across the parents and said “Phew! So far so good, we haven’t lost one yet!” - I was the only one laughing.
Funny enough, as parents we’ve been through this with our elder son, Rudi. Yes, the worries, the uneasy pit in the stomach, the sudden realization in the middle of the day that my child is out of reach for me right now and won’t come home tonight to sleep in his own bed - it all repeats itself.
The evening brought the relief - an email from the principal. “We’ve arrived safely, everybody has eaten, everyone is busy with interesting activities and everybody is getting along, here are some photos” - and that’s when it clicked for me:
He is having fun! He is learning to be in different situations without the comfort of his parents nearby. This is part of his growth from a child to a teenager to an adult man. My job is to let him go; to let him grow.
Is it easy? Hell no!
Is it necessary? No other way!
That all being said, he will be back this afternoon and we all can’t wait to see him, it makes me wonder how my parents felt when I moved out, left the country, got married, had children on my own.
Interesting times ahead. Gotta get better at letting go.