The Thrive Zone
an actionable guide in four steps
I was with a client the other day when she told me about her story from being an employee to running her own business. I had asked about her experience as an employee to find out what might have ignited that spark to go self employed.
She explained to me that things were not particularly bad, the job was doable, the colleagues were alright, the pay was good and regular. I was pretty confused at that stage - so everything was kinda good!?
Well yes, apart from one thing - “I could easily do my weekly work assignments in 20-25 hours and totally get away with it”
I exclaimed “What an awful situation, you can complete your job in half the time, get the full pay and have a bunch of free time!!??”
Her answer “Essentially true, but I felt like crap, it felt like I was letting myself down. I knew I had so much more in me!”
And BOOM with that simple insight she hit me right in the gut. I knew it was true, I had been there before, felt that before, the guilt, the uneasy nagging, the “what-if”.
Isn’t it possible to just go to work, do the minimum of what’s expected, get paid and enjoy on the weekends? Sure it’s possible but I believe it’s a surefire way to live a deeply unhappy life. It’s a life in which we settle for the path of least resistance.
Ambition is a feature that comes activated by default in our brains and only if we attempt to fulfil it’s call we will feel truly satisfied.
Think about other areas of life, like relationships, healthy nutrition, sports, education, lovelife - none of these important areas provide great results with minimal effort.
Of course there is an upper limit - too much of anything is bad. Yes even too much sports or too much healthy nutrition can have adverse effects - it’s not about going overboard, it’s about finding the right balance between cruising and overshooting.
I call it The Thrive Zone
How do you know whether you are in the Thrive Zone? There are a number of different exercises you can do, a simple one to start with is “The Wheel of Life”. It’s a pretty common thing used in Coaching all the time.
Step 1: Complete the Wheel of Life
Set 20-30 minutes aside for undisturbed time to complete this exercise
Get pen and paper ready, definitely a nice hot beverage too
Make a copy of the wheel of life or draw it in a notebook
Set your intention to complete this exercise as honest as possible
Now start with the first bucket:
What area seems to call me to be worked on first?
“Personal Growth” it is
How satisfied am I with my own personal growth at this point in time?
Mark the level of satisfaction by filling between 1 (Low) to 10 (High)
Complete all buckets
*Don’t be too concerned to get it 100% right, this exercise is a little more about your gut than your brain
Here’s an example of what this could look like when completed:
Now is a good time to refill your hot beverage. This will give you a few minutes distance from the exercise and let things settle a little.
In our example now, you can see a few distinct “Highs” and “Lows” - there is a strong correlation to your satisfaction in these areas and whether you are operating in the Thrive Zone. Also note that these areas are often interlinked.
“Career” and “Personal Growth” are both particularly low in the above example. What might make them low individually? What might be the link between them? Are there other areas they link in?
Get curious, let your mind wander.
Step 2: Making sense of it all.
Now what? We have done the assessment, been curious about it and have gained some clarity on where we are clearly not thriving at the moment. This where the real work starts.
Again, there are different types of exercise we can do from here, a simple and accessible one is journaling. If you don’t enjoy writing, audio-journaling will do too.
Pick on area e.g. “Career” and write down the following prompts for yourself:
Where does my current reality diverge from the vision I have for my life in this area?
What underlying beliefs or assumptions might be holding me back in this aspect of my life?
On a scale of 1-10, how committed am I to improving in this area, and what does my level of commitment reveal about my priorities?
How does my level of satisfaction in this area affect other aspects of my life?
If I could wave a magic wand, what would the ideal state of this life area look like, and why?
What are the most significant barriers I face in improving this area, and are they internal, external, or both?
What would need to change in my current habits, mindset, or environment to enhance my thriving in this area?
Who do I know (or know of) who excels in this area, and what can I learn from their approach or attitude?
What resources (time, money, skills, networks) do I currently have at my disposal that can aid in my growth in this area?
How will my life be different in one year if I make positive changes in this area now?
Now get to work.
You may finish this exercise in one, undisturbed sitting. Maybe it takes you a few writing session over a few days, try to get it done in no more than 3 days.
After you have completed the writing, print it out. Even better if it’s already hand-written.
Step 3: Let it marinate
You have just completed a deeply reflective exercise, you’ve been really honest with yourself, you’ve had to realize some hard truths. You are likely exhausted.
Take these pieces of paper and put them in a drawer somewhere for 24-48 hours.
While the fibres in the paper are relaxing, so are the fibres of your brain - it will help you gain a little distance to the exercise and let normal life take over for a little bit.
Step 4: Commitment
A highlighter pen comes in very handy now. Create 60 minutes of undisturbed time and slowly read through your document. Use the highlighter to mark any major insights. Since you did the previous exercise diligently, you have already created a roadmap for yourself to get back in the Thrive Zone.
Now it’s time to commit to yourself.
Here’ the formula : What will I do, by when, in service of what?
Example: I am going to find, connect with and try to sign 3 mentors by next Friday in order to create my personal board of directors to support my growth
The key here is to be specific. Specificity creates accountability.
Repeat this until you feel like you have a list of 5 - 10 commitments to yourself.
Congratulations - You have created a list of super actionable, impactful and deeply personal commitments that will land you right in the thrive zone of that area of your life. You now know what needs to be done, how it can be done. The only thing standing between you and thriving at this stage is doing. Go & do :)
I recommend repeating this exercise every 3-6 months. It will help you track progress and celebrate your achievements. With your ever evolving life, there will be ever evolving opportunities to work on things - that’s the beauty, you are never really stuck, just temporarily not thriving.
As a Coach I am in a unique position to help you accelerate this growth. I can help you to co-design your own growth plan, be an observant sparring partner to help you stay on target, help you to create effective accountability, stand by your side in moments of doubt and difficulty, celebrate your achievements along the way. Once you are ready to get into your Thrive Zone, give me a call.